Good day to you all. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is William Paid, Esquire and I’m a serial personal butler with 40 years distinguished service, orchestrating exceptional living experiences for exiled kings, rockstars, supermodels, and even a few “young gun” Internet executives who are now woefully overleveraged and unable to employ my services. Although my name doesn’t end in “-worth” like most butlers (Wadsworth, Pennyworth, Moneysworth, Killingworth), I assure you I’m a card carrying member of the International Institute of Modern Butlers. Despite what PDiddy’s Farnsworth Bentley says, he’s a man servant butler. I admire him. Jeeves and I, however, have a long-standing feud.
At WilliamPaid, my role is to ensure everything runs smoothly for renters and roommates. I’m at YOUR service. This role is infinitely more interesting than my previous butler assignment; which involved vacuuming, checking whether the toilet was clean, polishing silver, cutting cakes, cleaning blood or vomit from clothes, and making wry comments when a household member said something insipid.
Today I’ve been tasked with making my first official announcement. Henceforth Thursday will be known as “Roommate Day.” We invite you to join in on the fun over on Twitter and here on the blog.
Rules of Etiquette for Roommate Day:
1. Post a blog comment below honoring or roasting your roommate for their good or bad deeds.
2. Post tweets on Twitter honoring or roasting your roommates. End your tweet with #myroommaterocks or #myroommatesucks or simply #roommateday. We will retweet your tweets.
3. Check back each Friday here on WilliamPaid’s blog as we honor the “roommates who rock” and gently but firmly reprimand the “roasted roommates”.
4. Of course, everyone who plays along wins a free FULL ACCESS WilliamPaid membership. Good clean fun.
With that, allow me to take my leave until next week. If you need me, just ring. In the meantime, I’ll be busy perfecting my English accent and planning diabolical deeds that would never be possible in non-household positions.
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