If you’re considering joining the ranks of fab co-habs, there’s a checklist of topics that you need to go over pronto. You don’t need Gandhi-esque mental clarity to cover the basics of renting a happy home. All you need is a little compromise and big, open communication to get started on your own happy ever after…and to continue it by paying the rent on time.
Ditch The Deed
You don’t have to do much Googling to find horror stories of couples who bought a house, never married, and then someone got the short end of the financial stick. You and your partner might be itching to buy, but if it’s your first time cohabitating, the experts agree that renting is your best bet. MSN Money rightly calls buying property with one person’s name on it a “mistake,” as the other partner has no legal right to the property, no matter how much time and money he or she has put into it.
Financial Transparency
The person you’re living with loves you for you, and unpaid medical bills or student loan debt shouldn’t cloud that love, so ‘fess up. When you’re perusing ForRent.com or your local Craigslist for the perfect love nest, you’re going to have to come clean about your net worth and monthly budget. That dreamy penthouse might look like a dream come true, but it isn’t worth defaulting on your student loans. Financial output, goals and tracking should be conquered together, with frequent check-ins to make sure that you’re on the same page.
Space, Space, Space
Any way that you slice it, everyone needs a little place to call their own. A garage, basement or even large walk-in closet can be converted into a personal fort. When you live with someone, that doesn’t mean that you have to, or should, spend all of your time with them. When people are stuck in close quarters all the time, any stresses or concerns are exacerbated if you feel forced to be around your partner. A relationship needs two individuals to function, not Siamese twins. When there is friction (which is inevitable and healthy), you will be grateful that you have a little place to retreat.
Setting Expectations
When you’re living with someone, it’s essential to divvy up the chores or come to an arrangement so that you both feel like the other is holding up his or her end of the bargain. Expectations should be made very clear at the onset. This includes chores: are you a neat freak or a slob? What about your partner? Will he or she be amenable to divvying up the chores and meeting your expectations? The same concept applies to time expectations. If your partner likes to party late into the night while you prefer to curl up with some tea and a good book, is that going to be a problem for you? Opposites attract, but they do need to explore ways to iron out their differences. Cohabitation may be the norm, and ironing out potential conflicts ahead of time can nip potential catastrophes in the bud.
Janice McClure is a full-time mom and freelancer originally from Florida.
