Making new friends after college can be a daunting prospect. While in college, you had four years of shared experiences with a consistent group of people to build relationships from. After graduation, if you stayed in your college town or moved back home, you have the advantage of familiarity and proximity to people you know. What if you have to relocate to a completely new city for work or graduate school? You’ll be lucky if you know one person there, be it a work contact, tangential acquaintance or relative. While the life of a hermit may seem appealing at first and Netflix may start to feel like your most trusted friend, it’s necessary for your happiness and enjoyment of a new place to find human connections. So how do you make friends in a new city as an adult?
1. Explore what your neighborhood has to offer.
Make it a point to introduce yourself to your neighbors. You never know when you might need their help; plus they’ll have advice on what’s worth checking out nearby. If geographically possible, stick to shopping and activities in the same general area. This way, you have more of a chance of meeting a consistent group of locals. Go for a jog, walk your dog, become a regular at the coffee shop or join the local church/synagogue/etc. The more often that you go somewhere, the more often that you will start recognizing people and vice versa.
2. Connect or re-connect with people you might already know.
At your new job, you have a whole group of coworkers to get to know. Even if it’s just someone to eat lunch or grab coffee with, bonding with a new group will help to break the friendship ice. Look up old friends, relatives or acquaintances online. Have your friends from back home look up anyone they may know in the area. The more people that you talk to, the higher the chance will be that you’ll make a new friend.
3. Use your hobbies to your advantage.
If you’re athletic, join an adult sports league or running club, or take yoga classes. Take classes in new things like art, cooking, gardening or photography. Be open to trying out something that you never would have considered before. Meeting people with shared interests is a guaranteed conversation starter. Even if you don’t meet your new BFF at spinning class, you’ll still be doing something to better yourself and get to know your new area.
4. Use the Internet to do some of the legwork for you.
Sites like MeetUp are a perfect way to find groups of people in your new city that share your interests. You can pick and choose events to attend, and you are free to back out if you change your mind/are overcome with awkwardness. LinkedIn is another great resource for networking events and meeting local people in your line of work.
5. Make detailed plans, and be open to anything.
If you have finally made human contact in one of the aforementioned situations, it’s in your best interest to make concrete plans. Don’t say, “We should get coffee sometime.” Say, “Let’s get coffee on Saturday.” It makes it harder for both parties to back out or forget. Also, if one of your new acquaintances suggests going somewhere or doing something out of your comfort zone, try to say yes! It may lead you to discover something or someplace awesome and, more importantly, it may lead to a new friend.
For even more advice, check out these articles from Apartment Therapy and The Art of Manliness.
Friendliest Cities in the U.S.
Is your current city bringing you down? Are the people rude and hard to befriend? Maybe you need a change of scenery. According to Condé Nast Traveler, these are the 10 friendliest cities in the U.S.:
- Charleston, SC
- Galena, IL
- Savannah, GA
- Asheville, NC
- Austin, TX
- Jackson, MS
- Natchez, MS
- Telluride, CO
- Sonoma, CA
- Branson, MO
Best Cities to Make Friends
If you are about to move to a new place, check this list to see if your city has made it into the Top 10 Cities to Make Friends:
- New York, NY
- Baltimore, MD
- Washington, D.C.
- Los Angeles, CA
- Philadelphia, PA
- Chicago, IL
- Minneapolis, MN
- Detroit, MI
- Miami, FL
- Branson, MO
Cait Kilpatrick is a native New Yorker and college graduate who has lived in rented apartments throughout her entire life. She dabbles in interior design and excels at juggling multiple shows on Netflix and organizing DVRs. She was a collegiate soccer player and is an unapologetic Anglophile.
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